


How the Providence Falconers made Bitty write his thesis

by Tuvieja



Series: How Bitty wrote his thesis [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Everybody loves Bitty, Gen, bitty avoiding his thesis, concerned falconers, so they trick him into making good choices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:33:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21513442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tuvieja/pseuds/Tuvieja
Summary: This is a team effort that spans more than one team. Since everyone loves bitty and want the best for him, the Falconers decide to help Jack help Bitty get his shit together and JUST WRITEStill inspired by me avoiding my final paper…
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann
Series: How Bitty wrote his thesis [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550587
Comments: 13
Kudos: 164





	How the Providence Falconers made Bitty write his thesis

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to make a series after I read the extra content on the blog.  
The idea of a professional hockey team getting involved and Bitty still refusing to admit he has a problem is just too good.

Jack and a few of the Falconers had decided to take a night off from “healthy sleep schedule” and diets. They had gone out after the gym to a bar close by that Marty had recommended. He didn’t come since he wanted to go with his family but wished them fun. Jack hadn’t been drinking but they had been having a good time altogether.

When Jack answered his phone in the middle of the conversation they all knew something wasn’t right.

Bittle always texted him, and even if he called, Jack didn’t have that pleased little smile he always got when talking to him. Instead Jack barely got a greeting in before he frowned.

-An emergency? What happened?

Tater pulled out his car keys, asking wordlessly if he needed a ride. Thirdy was already paying for their drinks in case they needed to bail and Snowy was just looking at Jack, waiting to see what actually needed to be done.

The man in question just sighed,-Yeah, I was afraid it’d come to this.

Silence as he heard what the person on the line responded.

-No, eh, the plan was good... Just not enough for him? He’s tough when he wants.- He sounded reluctantly impressed at this.- I’ll try to think of a new approach from my end. We’ll coordinate with Bitty tomorrow, yeah. Talk to you then. Bye Dex.

He hang up and slumped on his chair, then he looked up and realised his three teammates were staring at him with varying levels of concern.

-What?

-Uh,-Tater looked at the others,-is all okay?

-Yeah,-Thirdy explained,-you mentioned and emergency?

-Oh!-He looked as if he had just noticed the fact that they were there the whole time.-Yeah, no. Bitty is… having trouble with his senior thesis

They nodded understandingly and settled back down.

-Man, those things are tough. Is he having trouble with the research? Some information can be really hard to find.-Snowy had been the only one of the other three not drafted straight out of highschool and so, the only one who went through college.

-Eh, actually, he’s all done with that.

Thirdy tilted his head,-Then what’s the problem? Shouldn’t he be done already?

-The thing is…

Jack told them about Bitty’s astounding procrastination abilities, unable to keep a bit of awe from his voice. He loved that boy and the fact that he had managed to trick the entire world to give him extension after extension was as bad for him as it was impressive.

-So B only needs to write words.-Tater always made everything sound so simple

-Well, yes. But he doesn’t want to, because he gets distracted.

-Then we need to remind him!

-I try! but he’s especially good at distracting me!

Jack doesn’t realise the implications of what he just said until he saw three sly smiles directed at him, a blush crept up his face and over his ears.

-You know what I mean…

-We will help B write, and then he’ll live here with Jack and make lots of Jam for everybody.-Tater declared.

And thus, the Make Bitty Graduate So He Can Make More Jam For Everyone was born (they are professional hockey players so not very good at naming things)

First step was the hardest, Thirdy had a talk with Marty and early the next day, right before morning practise, they called an emergency team meeting.

There was some fighting and complaining, some players even offering to go as far as to write the damned thing themselves but in the end it was agreed that none of them would request or even accept any baked goods from Bittle, no matter how good they looked or how much he insisted. It was for his own good.

Legend says that the team nutritionist cried tears of joy when they heard this. Going as far as contacting the Samwell American History Department to thank them personally. But nobody has actual proof.

Next step was reminding Bittle to  _ just write _ . The players who usually texted with him, Tater and Marty mostly, send encouraging text messages throughout the week. The rest decided to just comment on it every time he came down to visit Jack.

Since that didn’t seem to be working Snowy came up with the ultimate idea.

-We have to use his procrastination against him

Jack looked at him like he was crazy (goalies usually are but that's besides the point).-How?

-Well, what does he use to distract himself?

Jack opened his mouth but Snowy interrupted him,-Now that he can no longer bake.

He thought about it for a moment but it was an easy answer,-Social media

-Like facebook?-Marty was confused as how a person could stand that more than two minutes a day. Snowy had a sudden cough attack that sounded strangely like *cough*old man*cough*

-More like twitter, and YouTube. He likes to watch our PR videos too.

-There we go! We just need a game plan and were all set…

***

Bitty was being the victim of unrelenting spam on all his platforms, and he couldn’t even blame russian bots, he knew the names and addresses of all his spammers. The bastards. Every single thing he posted got comments, actually relevant to whatever he said but all of them also ended with “write your thesis”.

The other morning he tweeted “Beautiful morning to walk through the quad and miss my bf” immediately NHL hockey player Sebastien "Marty" St. Martin was on his mentions with a picture of Jack looking seriously at a screen and the words “he’s doing no walking until we can figure out a strategy for this friday. Write your thesis”

Not to mention his instagram. Suddenly all the people who knew him were being especially active on his accounts.

To take a break from it all Bitty escaped to the library. After he found a comfortable place to campout,, he took out his laptop and opened the ten different tabs he needed to focus on his thesis.

Then he opened a new tab and went on YouTube. He needed to clear his mind before getting to work! The Falconers had put up a new video with rapid fire interviews with some of the players. He clicked on it and settle back to enjoy.

The first one could have been a fluke, he already knew that Marty was in on this “torture Bitty” plan, although he was surprised it wasn’t edited out. By the third player that finished his round with a quick “A reminder for all of you in school to write your papers” he knew this was a targeted attack, they had somehow gotten the PR department into it as well.

After Alexei looked straight at the camera and said “B, write thesis” he was officially done. The interviewer didn’t bat an eyelash at the phrase (although Tater was known for sometimes saying a bunch of nonsense that only made sense if translated directly to russian)

Holding back a sigh, Bitty pulled out his phone.

-”You know, it’s cheating using your famous hockey player friends to bully me”

-”I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about”

Bitty smiled down at his phone. Even through text Jack was a horrendous liar.

-”Sure you don’t”

-”I just don’t feel like writing so many words! Why can’t I just give them a pie and have them be happy with that?”

-”Because they aren’t hockey players?”

-”Touche”

-”Why don’t you just write it?”

-”Because it’s soooo long :sad_face:”

-”But you always write so much”

-”No I dont(?”

What was he talking about? Bitty was awful at writing anything, he always got distracted halfway through and never finished things.

-”Okay

Could you remind me

What was your thesis about?”

He had told Jack a thousand times about it!. Maybe he hadn’t been clear enough. Jack wasn’t a baker so he needed to spell things out for him.

Bitty put away his laptop and, instead bent over his phone. He was on a mission now.

He typed a quick response, his default of “changing methods in southern baking after WWII” then he thought maybe Jack hadn’t understood the other times he had said so. In the spirit of being a good boyfriend, not at all avoiding his thesis, Bitty started explaining the finer points to Jack.

After a while re noticed that he may have gone a bit too deep for someone not familiar with baking terminology so he sent along bibliography so Jack could keep up. After all, his history nerd boyfriend would love to have extra reading on historical practises, even if it was about cooking.

Talking to his boyfriend was so much better than writing that stupid thesis, and he was so interested in it too! Answering with texts like “tell me more” and “wow”

At one point he had written the word “pie” so many times that it autocorrected to just the emoji. He didn’t bother to correct it.

When he pulled himself out of the conversation for a moment he noticed the whole afternoon had passed him by and he had done nothing else but talk to his boyfriend. 

Oh well, he still had time, and this was far more important. He’d write that thesis some other day.


End file.
